


Patience

by MemoriesofMiltia



Series: The Zohar Project and Other Small Horrors [1]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game), Xenosaga
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-11-02 03:42:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10936269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MemoriesofMiltia/pseuds/MemoriesofMiltia
Summary: When swimming in the sea called chaos, patience is always a virtue.





	Patience

Zenyatta wasn’t quite sure what to make of chaos, even though they’d been friends for years. He had a tendency to vanish without warning and return again when he was most needed without an explanation as to why he had left or where he’d gone, dodging the question with a kind, evasive smile each time someone put it to him. Occasionally, he displayed abilities that no normal Human had-not that chaos really registered as a Human, as far as Zenyatta’s sensors were concerned. But he wasn’t an Omnic either, and when Zenyatta questioned him about this privately, he’d simply given his android friend a heart-breaking smile and said that he was the one who said that true self was without form. How could he define himself if he was formless?

But, despite all the questions he raised and his menacing name, there was no doubt-at least, in Zenyatta’s mind, anyway-that chaos always did his best to help others and be a good person. Somehow, when he, Genji, or one of their other friends was truly in danger or needed help with something serious, he was usually there to offer his support and aid, be it in the form of his abilities on a mission, attacking or defending, or lending a quiet, sympathetic ear and careful, thoughtful words to people when they were lost, confused, unsure, or scared. Even the effect of his presence, his being there was like a soothing cup of a tea or a quiet meditation session, which helped Genji open up or calm down whenever the three of them got together for an afternoon of meditation.

It also probably helped that, oddly enough, chaos wasn’t that good at meditating (“It’s been a long time since I’ve done something like this.” He’d explained, an awkward, apologetic smile on his face. “And even then, it wasn’t quite like what you two do, so I’d be happy if the both of you could help me out.”). He always lingered for too long on his thoughts, and when he opened his eyes to the outside world again, he never looked like he was at peace or like he’d found some solution to whatever was bothering him. Instead, he looked like he’d swallowed a heavy rock and couldn’t move. He never talked about his problems either, instead turning his attention towards Zenyatta, Genji, or whomever else had decided to join them (though it was rare for anyone else to do so). 

In comparison, even if Genji couldn’t always clear his mind, he was usually willing to talk about his problems, either around other people or with just his Master, and he was actually interested in looking for solutions. So, even if it felt a bit surreal to him (and boosted his ego just a tad), he tended to be chaos’s better in meditation, always giving him little kernels and tidbits of advice, though they never seemed to fully help.

Normally, Zenyatta tried not to pry too much into chaos’s problems and affairs (half because chaos himself kept dodging his questions and concerned comments and because he wasn’t quite sure how chaos would take a lot of prying), but, one afternoon, after they’d gotten together for the first time in a long time to talk and meditate and chaos looked incredibly troubled and unsure after doing the latter, he couldn’t just sit by with a few soft words anymore. Instead, he slowly hovered towards chaos and pressed his metal, nonfunctioning lips on top of his head, resting a hand on his shoulder so that he could generate enough warmth to be loving, comforting, and reassuring. 

If chaos was surprised or knew what was coming, he didn’t show it or try to avoid it, the kiss that was a kiss in all but the pressing of lips made out of flesh and blood. Instead, he let out a long, low, quiet, almost peaceful sigh as he closed his eyes and soaked in it, even as Genji stared at the both of them, surprised and puzzled. After a moment, Zenyatta lifted his head, but not his hand. That remained, still pulsing heat as he spoke.

“It is obvious that doubts plague your mind. Why do you insist on keeping yourself closed when we are worried and would like to help?” While his eyes remained closed, chaos looked like he’d aged ten years as he thought on his answer.

“It isn’t that I enjoy making you and Genji worry, or that I’m fond of my own doubts and uncertainties. But..even if one of you did have a solution to my problems, telling you about them would probably put you both in danger, depending upon how things play out.”

“You say that like we don’t face danger on a regular basis.” Genji shot back. At that, chaos smiled, his eyes still closed, but it was a lonely, sad little smile.

“The danger you face has the lifespan of a mayfly compared to this. But..” For a few moments, chaos paused, mulling something over, and Zenyatta, patient as ever, kept his hand on his shoulder, hoping to offer his friend some comfort, even if it was small. Suddenly though, something that felt like warm water came flowing into him. 

A combination of sights (that all looked like they came from ancient Earth, and while they went by too quickly for him to get a decent narrative, he frequently saw chaos in old robes, without his typical bodysuit, laughing, smiling, looking pensive, and sobbing in all sorts of different situations, usually with a woman who had dark skin and long, black hair, among other visions), sounds (laughter, people sobbing, praying, a weary-sounding man thanking someone for all they’d done, chaos crying out for a woman called Mary, another person, another man trying to say that they were sorry and a spirited, grieving woman shouting that they’d never forgive them, a cool, calm man’s voice asking, almost teasingly, what Yeshua was going to do now, and someone singing in an inhuman, ethereal voice, among other things), smells (the salt and tang of the ocean, sweat, the smell of a busy city, rotting bodies, sex, smoke, newly fallen rain, and the desert, among other things), and sensations (warm lips against his, which felt like they were made out of flesh and blood for a moment, the pounding of his feet against the ground as he danced, the painful, stinging sensation of being beaten and whipped, a warm hug, the feel of the ocean on a naked body, dancing in the rain, something that felt like flying in the wind, heartbreak, freezing and baking in the desert, the sensation of sand on one’s feet and good, spicy food in one’s mouth, among others), all of which made Zenyatta stagger for a few minutes, made him remove his hand without thinking about it, and while Genji called out to him in fear and alarm, he couldn’t hear him.

For better or worse, the whole mixture of experiences, of years of one’s life only lasted for about five or ten minutes, and as Zenyatta came out of the flow and got used to the world in front of him again, to the sensation of living and experiencing his own life, chaos opened his eyes and, looking weary, sighed. “I’m sorry. I’ve never done something like that before. But, if you are so eager to help, perhaps that will give you some information without putting your lives in danger. I just hope that you’re able to walk through those shoes.”

“What did you do to my Master?!” Genji asked, his voice tense, poised and ready for a fight. In response, chaos gave him a weak, barely-there smile.

“Since he’s always saying that you should walk or hover in someone else’s shoes if you wish to understand them, I thought I’d give him a pair. Would you like one?” Normally, Zenyatta would have advised his pupil not to accept or warned him to be cautious, but since he was still reeling and recovering from what chaos had given him, a thousand questions on his mind, he was silent as Genji answered.

“Please.” Once again, chaos sighed and closed his eyes.

“Alright. I’ll see if I have a bit more in me.” For a moment or two, Genji sat there, waiting and anticipating whatever strange and (possibly) terrifying experience his Master had gone through before it hit him full in the face, making his breath hitch in surprise as he took it all in. Thankfully, Zenyatta managed to pull himself together at this point, so as chaos stood up and stretched, he managed to get a few words out.

“Was..that truly your life? chaos, how old are you?”

“It would be rather foolish to give someone a pair of shoes that you didn’t mean for them to have in that moment.” He replied, an energetic, forced smile on his face. Before Zenyatta could point out that he’d dodged the second question, chaos somehow hovered in the air for a moment so that he could be above Zenyatta’s head and gently kiss it, his lips warm, soft, and appreciative, almost apologetic, before he landed on the ground again. “I am truly sorry that I cannot give you more or tell you everything about myself. Even so, thank you for wanting to help me..and for continuing to be my friend. I’m exhausted, so I’m going to go take a nap now. I’ll see you both later.” And with that, chaos walked off, leaving Zenyatta in a daze that felt like it had about six sides. How had chaos been able to transmit part of his life to him? How had he managed to float like that? And how did this tie into his doubts, his blockade to letting go, relaxing, and focusing while he meditated?

He didn’t know, and while he normally would have hovered with chaos and bothered him with these questions, Genji was still in a daze, still swimming in the river that chaos had tossed him into. So, he sat beside his pupil and waited for him to come out of it. Maybe, once he was himself again, they could discuss it and find some answers together. And if not, they could wait to meet chaos again and grill him then. There was no need to rush with something like this. After all, patience was a virtue.


End file.
